Feb 6, 2007

Dear childhood Jessica,

Do you ever have those startling moments when you realize you are a grown up?
I had one walking past a window downtown yesterday. Just out of the blue, caught my reflection in a travel agency window, and had the realization that A) I am an adult now and B) I am nothing like I ever imagined I would be when I was a child.
Did you ever try and imagine yourself as a grown up?
I always pictured myself as a mom in the 1980's. Chin length mom-haircut, big shoulderpad sweater, driving around a station wagon with two kids. I would talk on the phone to all my other mom friends and we would get together for potlucks and bible studies.
Kind of a weird picture, but I apparently thought time (and fashion) would stand still and I would turn into my mother. (though we never did have a station wagon...I always wanted one) This is when I was 7 or 8.
At age 15-16, I could not imagine life past college. My whole world revolved around that light at the end of the high-school tunnel...go towards the light...go towards the light...
Graduating from college I was not thinking so far down the road, I believe I was more interested in just FINDING the freaking road and getting on it.
Alright, so I found the road and I am on it, though I am not sure where it is going and the road signs are few and far between, I am traveling on the road.

All this is just to say, that somewhere in the middle of all that, I turned into an adult.
And it really sneaks up on you, grown-uphood.
Because nothing in life is predictable, and you just want to have some warning or some idea of what to expect, I find myself very thankful that there are no shoulder-pad sweaters or station wagons available and that I live in a country with no concept of the "potluck dinner",
because I might be tempted to make my childhood dream come true...beware the chin-length-mom-haircut!!

Dear childhood Jessica:
You will not be like you are picturing. Don't worry, though, it turns out a thousand times better!
Sincerely (no, really)
Adult Jessica

P.S. Stop letting your mother perm your hair, I think all those chemicals will fry your brain just a little and as an adult you will find yourself constantly boarding the wrong bus and wasting hours riding around the city in the wrong direction...