Went sailing with the Germans. Yes I did.

And when I say "sailing" I really mean IN A TALL SHIP! Not unlike a pirate ship, actually. But they were not German pirates (that would have been cool though)

So, I went down to meet my friend Veronica for a coffee and to catch up because we haven't seen each other all summer, and somehow I wind up sailing around La Coruna in the hugest (yes, HUGEST is the word) boat I have ever sailed on. It was sooo incredible.
I love when you are just living life and all of a sudden find yourself with the wind against your face and the crisp sea water gently misting you and Germans yelling out sailing commands all around you. I really do.

I am still feeling a little sway, hours later.

(Oh, and to explain a little: All these tall ships from all over Europe are in my beautiful port City of La Coruna for a Tall Ship Regatta. They are sailed by teenagers who do this six week program to learn teamwork and sailing. They race in like six or seven cities that they sail between. Veronica (my friend) has connections with one of the German ones.)


Best day of the week, maybe the month. Hands down.
Do you know those moments when you feel so alive?

November Table Game

I am doing better. I am doing great, really, when I think about it. So I decided to take from Colleen and Thanksgiving tradition (I know it's only August, but I won't have Thanksgiving here in Spain, so I'll play today)
Here are 10 good things:

1. I walk everywhere.

2. I live on the Atlantic coast for the first time in almost 9 years.

3. I have an amazing, beautiful, quirky family...and I love them a ton.

4. I am learning the words to Spanish music on the radio...I have songs that I know (though they are stupid, awful pop songs, this is an exercise in bettering my spanish)

5. Milca lent me her bicycle while she is in Venezuela

6. I am staying in Rob and Nancy's apartment while they are gone, and today I am baking scones.

7. Last night I made balloon animals (something I have only ever done in European countries...) and I learned how to say clown in spanish (payaso...)

8. It's the Festivo Maria Pita, and there are all these free shows...Flamenco this weekend!

9. I am going to Madrid and Barcelona "on business" next month with Rebecca

10. I spend each monday at the beach alone with my thoughts, some good music and a bottle of sunscreen.

The long hot walk.

So, I am laughing at two things. First of all, my friend Nate gave me two seasons of Lost, which I have never watched before and am now completely sucked into. Pathetic. Okay, so funny in how pathetic it is. I knew that would happen.

Also, I am feeling so strangely guilty these days. ¨False guilt¨ is what it´s called when it´s guilt over things besides sin. I mean, not that I don´t sin. But what I am feeling guilty about all the time is stupid. And yet I continue to feel like this. So I´m laughing in a sort of nervous concern for my state of being.

What the heck is wrong with me? You know when you are walking a long way outside and lugging heavy stuff and it´s like a thousand degrees with no wind and you are dripping sweat and all of a sudden you look up to see how far to your front door, realize it´s ridiculously far and then trip and fall down, dropping all your stuff and scraping up your legs?

I am not saying this has happened (well, it probably has...) but that sometimes lately, life has felt like this.

But not always. Just sometimes. Sticky, and painful and overheated and exhauting. Irritating.

Be that as it may, I truly am trying to be content here.

I have several big decisions to make...and soon. And I hate making decisions. In the past, God has just kind of let everything fall into place and I just keep walking and find myself in these places.

I really am trying to hope that that happens this time too. Because I suck at making decisions.

Like right now, I have to decide whether to give into the exhaustion and go watch a couple episodes of Lost, or go work on some projects for work.

We´ll see what happens.

I miss Hot Tamales. Spain doesn´t have very good candy, I must tell you the truth.

Calm...or something like it.

I live in a crazy calm. I meander through the day (and you, my dearest friends will know that I truly mean ¨meander¨ ) and just below the surface God is working. And it usually is this whispering fade of life and changes and beauty and struggle that He pours into my days and being, but then once in a while, I unwittingly find myself standing on a cliff overlooking a beautiful but tumultuous sea as the gales of opportunity, change, fear, excitement and wonder gust over and through me.

You know, when you feel so filled up inside you just need to dance like a crazy person, or squeal like an eleven year old, or roll down a really huge hill like the one in the Princess Bride, or sleep for a year because you are so exhausted by emotion?

Yeah...maybe this is all a little vague. But I am in this place. Just a little undefined.

And right now I am enjoying amazing Italian brewed coffee, and the wee early hours of a lazy day (it´s the crack of noon) and this really great long black layered Spanish skirt that I found (it´s rebajas time) and poetry by Rainer Maria Rilke floating around en mi mente, and more than anything, the arms of God wrapped tightly around my existance.

A day of nothing, or something like that.

11:28 PM
It was my day off today. I rode a bike down to la playa de Santa Cristina, ate lunch at a little patio table, bought 2 liters of water, my first Spanish magazine and spent the day relaxing.
I watched a movie and went shopping to try and find a birthday present for Dustin.
I also made an internal and written vow to add discipline to my life and an even more resolute vow to obedience. It wasn’t just a day of nothing, I suppose. I wonder about myself and tomorrow, though…

Alright, Already...

Okay...Whew, what a whirlwind of life!
Paris finally let me in. So I went. Can I just comment on the Madrid airport? The first five minutes it reminded me of the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Very whimsical...but then it became a nightmare...I was so irritated.
But, whatever. Made it into Paris. Which ended up being just the therapy I needed to recover....let me tell you:

So, I went for an arts and culture conference. Incredible...met the most amazing people, had gorgeous conversations, heard words that inspired and challenged, and felt my heart thud, and wrench and grieve and rejoice.
Okay, so I am a little emotional. (nothing new there)
Sunday morning, as we worshiped in the oldest Baptist church in Paris with voices singing French and English (and Spanish...I couldn't help it) melded together and steeped the air with praise, echoing off high beams and stained glass, God spoke to me in that hushed soul whisper.
And I know exactly what these words mean to me, and I am a little shaken by all that is happening and all that is to come.
But it is good.
Paris, ahhhh, sweet bliss! It even rained for me on Sunday! Made some new friends and talked them into a trip to the Eiffel Tower in the rain at night. They have this light mechanism that makes it "twinkle" for ten minutes on every hour.
We ate chocolate mousse and talked about all we had absorbed and were still trying to absorb from the gathering of artists with more vision and passion than can fit into one week.

If you are wanting to hear more, please write me. I cannot begin to describe all that has happened, not in this blog.

Yeah. Oh, and I lost my cell phone on the subway and freaked out my co-workers here and my family. They called my cell phone while it was lost and this French dude answers. But he did meet me at the train station to return my phone. My only source of contact with the world. I hate it...
Anyhow.
God takes care of us, no? Oui...Si...Yes...

New Earth

All you in Kansas City (and some Waterdeep fans outside) will appreciate this...I am in ¨New Earth¨coffeehouse in Santiago de Compostela, Spain...

It´s actually called ¨Terra Nova¨which is Gallego (the regional dialect of Galicia) for New Earth....

Nate is playing the hammer dulcimer here and there is a new artist displaying her paintings.

It feels like home.

Mediterranean Waters

I'm in Barcelona for an incredible (and surprisingly much needed) staff retreat.

Yesterday I walked along and in Mediterranean (is that spelled right?) waters with the warm spring wind and Steven Delopolous in my ears. I

And yesterday I was listening to a song I have listened to so many times, but it took on new meaning.

Knowledge is the season for knowing when and why...balances and reason keep me from the fire. And every time I'm placed, within the perfect role...people come and go, people come and go...

Fire can be friendly, raising perfect pain. Burning off tomorrow..and yesterday the same. To
always be so weak, and never want to know you know we come and go, we come and then we go.

Of course I always thought about the going...but now I realize the exquisite beauty in the season of coming...even the fire and the pain are truly divine and full and rich.

Now it just feels safe and secure and surrounded. I am in a place of rest and inspiration.