An ode to change.

Life deserves to feel like autumn.
Because everything can suddenly change with one thick, cold, deep brush of wind.
We seek home while everything sheds what it formerly was and waits for what it can become. Many would say that spring is a picture of a fresh start and new beginnings, but I would have to disagree. Fall is.
Because the truth that no one likes to acknowledge is that it takes time for new life to grow. There are seasons, and hope inspires endurance. Hope begins when everything is cleared away.

That is why there is something sincerely beautiful about the air and the coolness and the colors. It's not about death at all, no, truly it is about hope.

Embrace this exquisite transformation, though it may take time, return to find rest in hope.

Amazingly enough, it is not something we must cling to with white knuckles. It may feel like that, but only if we fight it. It has already encompassed us, just let it exist.

I like to think it came in the form of a thick, deep, cold autumn wind.

My rock.

Okay...so it was a fabulous weekend. My mom and I went on a retreat, I got a cool pair of shoes, I "hiked" the flint hills of Kansas, sat in a really amazing pioneer church, studied Nehemiah, heard coyotes and owls, and this morning the tornado siren went off in the middle of communion.

But, even more than that, I read about a man in the Bible who I now like a lot. He had sooo much conviction, so much gut-wrenching passion when it came to doing something he knew the Lord was calling him to do, it was remarkable. I mean, the guy prayed, really prayed from the core of his being, for four straight months before he even began. Then, when people were making the job miserable, coming up against him, plotting ways to stop him, he pushed on with even more conviction than ever! Where is that kind of drive and conviction today? I wondered if it is in my own life...I want it to be, I know that much. I mean, yes, the Lord goes before us and does battle, but I think He would like it if we followed. (I kinda get the idea that's what he intends, huh?)

I took home a rock.

It's so I can get to work building my wall.

If you've never read Nehemiah's story, seriously, good stuff, it'll get to you.

alright. Table nine, your pizza is ready.

The huge gorilla question and the discovery channel

October 2005
One of my friends said she is having trouble believing in God anymore. She said that the doubts she usually has floating over her head have become like one of those giant gorillas that car dealerships use to draw people in to sales…all blown up and swaying in the highway wind.
Well, I have been thinking a lot lately about God, and who He is. I started to write a letter back to her and say whatever I could that would let her know that I know where she is coming from and also convey to her why I feel so strongly that God does exist. Maybe it would help her come to a place of rest…let the air out of that stupid gorilla.
Because here is where I am coming from. Mind you, it is not uncomplicated. I am not even sure I understand it, so muddled in my cerebrum it is. Yeah….
I ask that same questions everyone does…if there is this God that Christians say there is, why are things the way they are?



I’m watching the discovery channel right now. There is this guy writing all over a white board with this blue marker. He is scribbling, I recognize pi, and the quadratic equation, or something that looks vaguely high school algebra-ish but harder. And a whole bunch of other numbers and symbols. He’s going crazy; I’m tired just watching him.
You know what he’s doing? Trying to explain all the electricity in lightning.
Yeah. Because all it takes to understand God is a 3’x5’white board and a blue marker.
Oh, and I just saw a commercial that said next week the discovery channel is going to explore Jesus’ miracles. Good luck guys.

Now I love the discovery channel. It proves to me that I am not the only one trying to understand God. Everything on that channel is just people looking at creation and trying to explain it. Now I’m not anti science or anything. Obviously. I took medicine this morning that I need to stay alive. But there is a difference between science and trying to simplify God inspired awe and wonder into numbers on a white board.
Humanity doesn’t understand Him. Be-cause w-e c-a-n’t….
God created man in HiS own image. Not the other way around.