7:30 am, Madrid, Bus 65...

I was craning my neck looking for “For Rent” signs whilst riding bus 65 to work this morning when I discovered something.
If you stretch your gaze towards the peaks of tall buildings while winding through narrow streets on public transportation (or private transportation, I suppose) and you allow the sun to catch your face for just a second before you inevitably squint your eyes…for just that split-second there is an amazing metaphorical sensation.
It captures perfectly the perspective from which I find myself viewing the world and my personal circumstances as of late.
Swirling and bending, looming tall above me, but also thoroughly surrounding me on all sides, this season has me feeling slightly dizzy and so very small, tucked deep inside of something much more profound and expansive than I would like to acknowledge.

So much of my life right now is wildly out of control. Wildly out of my control, that is. I could list all the areas of my existence that have suddenly taken flight and started soaring around me, taunting my human need for containment and understanding, but it is not necessary. Suffice it to say they are all pretty substantial.

My reaction to this season has been to draw everything into an intense thought life, rolling stuff around my brain until I go crazy. I guess I assume my brain can handle stuff that my emotions could not. Being both female and artistic, my nature lends itself to reacting to everything with feelings, and so I guess I have given more credit to dealing with things intellectually than is actually due. Neither one works completely.

A very wise mother as well as a very dear friend has been just the right human voice to talk me out of this dizzy and floating intellectual wrestling match.

Today I embraced that which has been made tangible. My cute little campers, music, dance, laughter, a mop and broom, perfectly ripe cherries, friendship…

As for the rest, well, sometimes you just have to let your head fall back and let the world swirl around you as you give into the all-knowing and all-encompassing guidance of the Creator of this journey.